[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ admin_label=”section” _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row admin_label=”row” _builder_version=”4.16″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.27.7″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n
L’anneau d’or magazine reproduced the text of a talk given by Father Henri Caffarel at Pentecost 1967, in Lourdes, before an audience of 4,500 widows.<\/i><\/p>\n
How easy it is, between intellectuals around a table, to discuss suffering! How much more difficult to talk about it when we have before us beings who suffer in their hearts and in their flesh, minds disconcerted by the enigma of suffering! We fear irritating a raw wound. A priest, who participated in our pilgrimage, wrote very rightly, \u201cSuffering is not primarily a question to be discussed, it is always the suffering of someone<\/i>.”<\/p>\n
My apprehension becomes even more poignant, at the thought that among you there are perhaps rebellious souls. Impossible not to ask the question: Will my words succeed in reconciling them with God, or will they push them further apart? Faced with such a risk, I asked Mary to pray, both for you and for me.<\/p>\n
Be careful not to listen to me with your reasoning reason alone, ready to discuss, to retort, to object. Suffering is a mystery. It can only confuse a proud reason left to its own resources. Above all, do not give in to the temptation of setting yourself up as an accuser of God, of summoning him to justify himself; but rather, humbly, like a young child with his father, ask him to help you understand.<\/p>\n
So I will give you thirty seconds of silence now, so that you can pray to God to make you a humble and filial heart, and to put His words on my lips.<\/p>\n
For or against Suffering<\/b><\/p>\n
One day, some twenty years ago, I saw a young professor from the Sorbonne, sent by a friend, arrive at my house. Disgusted at having suffered too early in his\u00a0life, as soon as he sat on the edge of the chair he threw this question at me point-blank, which left me no escape, \u201cAre you, priests, for or against suffering?”<\/i>\u00a0\u201cAgainst<\/i>,\u201d I immediately replied. Obviously, this was not the answer he expected; he was disoriented for a moment.<\/p>\n
But after all, what does the personal point of view of a priest matter; it is God\u2019s that we need. Let us therefore address him, \u201cLord, are you for or against suffering?<\/i>”<\/p>\n
The answer leaves no doubt, \u201cI am against it<\/i>. \u2014 But then, Lord, why do you send suffering to mankind? \u2014 Calm down, my child; why are you so aggressive? Agree to listen with an attentive heart.<\/i>”<\/p>\n
No, not the daughter of God<\/b><\/p>\n
The great mistake is to believe that suffering is the work of God, is the daughter of God. If she were, the daughter’s cruelty could only be a reflection of the father’s cruelty. But this is not the case; no kinship between suffering and God. See the earthly paradise, this brand new world coming out of the hands of God where man and woman have just appeared, amazed by this creation which is given to them as a prerogative: suffering is unknown there, it will be unknown there until the day of the first sin. This is the Church’s teaching.<\/p>\n
And then think of this other Paradise where, for eternity, the Heavenly Father brings together all his children. There will be no more pain. Do we not read in the Apocalypse, \u201cNever again will they suffer from hunger and thirst; never again will they be overwhelmed either by the sun or by any scorching wind\u2026 and God will wipe away all tears from their eyes.<\/i>\u201d (7:16-17). In a world where God reigns, where His will meets no opposition, suffering is excluded.<\/p>\n
The Daughter of Sin<\/b><\/p>\n
Indeed, suffering is the daughter not of God, but of sin. Adam and Eve, having sinned, realised this tragically as they stood before the corpse of their son Abel, killed by the jealousy of his brother Cain. Thus, the first sin of our first parents is the source of that river of suffering which has engulfed the earth\u2014a river swollen daily by new sufferings born of all the sins of the world. Think of those children, those men and women who are victims of bombings, victims of that terrible sin known as war\u2014a hideous spectacle that television presents to us almost daily.<\/p>\n
Amidst all this suffering, look at Christ on the Cross: does it have any cause other than sin? The sin of the high priest, jealous of his influence; the hatred of a fanatical crowd; the cowardice of a Roman official\u2014not to mention the sins of us all.<\/p>\n
God, the Enemy of Suffering<\/b><\/p>\n
Because suffering is the daughter of sin, God abhors it. It would be as illogical to attribute it to the Lord as it would be to blame an artist for the knife slashes that have torn their painting to shreds. Suffering is absurd; it is a scandal to God’s mind. And how much more so to His heart: how could the heart of such a Father not be revolted by the pain of one of His children\u2014whether that child be His own Son or one of us?<\/p>\n
But then, you might say, let God do away with suffering! To do away with it, He would have to eliminate its cause\u2014sin; and to eliminate sin, He would have to eliminate human freedom. You yourselves have a surefire way to prevent your rambunctious little boy from breaking his leg: you could tie him up. But God, no more than you, wishes to tie up His children; He intends to educate them, to teach them how to use their freedom wisely\u2014even at the risk that they might fall, hurt themselves, and harm others. We lock up the violently insane and criminals to prevent them from doing harm; yet surely we cannot lock up sinners\u2014the earth would become one vast concentration camp…<\/p>\n
Suffering not caused by Mankind…<\/b><\/p>\n
An objection may well arise in your minds; some of you might want to say to me, “You speak of the countless people who endure suffering caused by sin\u2014victims of war, abused children, abandoned wives, families grieving the loss of a loved one due to a reckless driver\u2014but there are other forms of suffering that cannot be blamed on human beings<\/i>.” I am well acquainted with this objection; it was once put to me under circumstances I have never forgotten. I was on the Paris M\u00e9tro during rush hour when a drunkard approached me, pointing to a headline in huge letters on his crumpled newspaper that recounted the devastation caused by a cyclone in some far-off region of the world. He challenged me, “Do you think, Father, that things like this would happen if there were a good God?<\/i>” I confess\u2014without pride\u2014that I suddenly found a compelling reason to get off at the next stop; I had little desire to deliver a lecture on the Christian meaning of suffering before the intrigued passengers, who were witnessing this exchange between a drunkard and a young priest. I must admit that the objection is a difficult one. And I will not attempt to tell you what God might have done to avert such cataclysms in a sinless humanity. And yet, I am not far from reacting like the drunkard who, in his simple, honest logic, reasoned thus, “When I\u2019m not too drunk, I don\u2019t beat my wife or the kids; if there were a good God, He would surely be better than me\u2014He wouldn\u2019t beat mankind<\/i>.” But while he concludes that the existence of suffering proves God does not exist, I think: since my God is all love\u2014and all-powerful love\u2014He would have had no trouble keeping suffering away from a sinless humanity. I therefore hold fast to the certainty I draw from the Bible: it was in the wake of sin that suffering appeared in the world.<\/p>\n
Christ Facing Human Suffering<\/b><\/p>\n
Christ\u2019s reaction to human suffering further strengthens my conviction.<\/p>\n
Recall this, “People began bringing all their sick to Christ in every village he entered, and all who touched him were healed.<\/i>” (Mk 6:56) Remember, too, this scene\u2014which I am certain is especially dear to you: at the entrance to a small town, the sounds of flute players and mourners are heard; Jesus Christ and the apostles encounter a funeral procession. Jesus looks on: a solitary woman follows the bier where a young boy lies; she had already lost her husband, and now her only son has died. The Gospel tells us the Master is deeply moved. He raises the dead boy to life and “gives him back to his mother.<\/i>” Think also of that unforgettable episode: faced with the grief of Martha and Mary, Jesus bursts into tears and raises their brother from the dead. There is no doubt that Jesus Christ appeared on earth as the enemy of suffering. Thousands were delivered by Him from the grip of pain. His love compelled Him not only to feel compassion\u2014to share in the sorrow of His suffering brethren\u2014but also to set them free. Whoever does not react as He did is not His disciple. And if a Christian is not shocked by suffering, then I am shocked by that Christian.<\/p>\n
But then, why do pious people keep telling us, when we suffer, that we must accept God\u2019s will? \u2014 That way of speaking, I admit, is misleading, and I never use it. Let us return to Christ. Surely you would not claim that the executioners were doing the Father\u2019s will when they crucified Him; they committed the most appalling of crimes. It is not the Father\u2019s will that His Son be tortured, but rather that\u2014while being tortured\u2014He willingly accepts the suffering inflicted upon Him by sin, thereby proving His invincible love for mankind.<\/p>\n
Christ and the Cross<\/b><\/p>\n
“If God is opposed to suffering, and if Christ fought against it, why are we urged to love it<\/i>?” This was the other question put to me\u2014quite vehemently\u2014by the young professor I mentioned earlier.<\/p>\n
I can still see the poignant gesture he made, pointing to the crucifix hanging on my office wall, “To think<\/i>,” he said, “that you feel the need to hang it on every wall, to plant it at every crossroads, to hoist it to the mountain peaks, all to urge us to love suffering.<\/i>..”<\/p>\n
To which I replied, “You are making the crucifix say the opposite of what it actually signifies. Far from preaching the goodness, pleasantness, or intelligibility of suffering, the Cross proclaims to the world Christ\u2019s definitive victory over suffering and death<\/i>.”<\/p>\n
We must pause to reflect on this statement, which seems to contradict our everyday experience. We have reached the very heart of the Christian mystery. Let us consider how Christ acts\u2014not in the face of others’ suffering, but in the face of the suffering that assails Him personally. It appeared in the form of the Cross, whose outstretched arms seemed to say, “You shall not pass by<\/i>!” He could easily have escaped it, turned back. But no\u2014He did not let Himself be diverted; He advanced toward the Cross. Does this mean He finds suffering good, or that He loves it? Certainly not! He is horrified by it\u2014this offspring of sin. He trembles with dread before it. Why, then, does He hasten toward Calvary? Why is He so eager for His “Hour” to come? Think of a fianc\u00e9 who rushes into the flames to save the woman he loves; you would not say that he loves the flames\u2014it is his fianc\u00e9e he loves. It is not the cross or suffering that Christ loves, but the Father who calls Him and the humanity He wishes to save\u2014humanity, which He longs to make His bride. Yes, His sacrifice is truly the victory of love over suffering and over the sin that is its source. This is what the crucifixes in our churches, our homes, and our countryside proclaim.<\/p>\n
I speak of a victory of love; it would be even more accurate to speak of love\u2019s triumph over suffering. What a triumph, indeed, to turn suffering\u2014born of sin and the refusal of love\u2014into an occasion for even greater love! For it is certainly true that, in suffering, love transcends itself. In that sense, one might say that suffering becomes good, intelligible, and fruitful; yet in reality, it is not the suffering itself, but the love it evokes and stimulates, that is good, intelligible, and fruitful.<\/p>\n
Misleading Crucifixes, True Crucifixes<\/b><\/p>\n
I acknowledge that there are crucifixes that mislead us. Have you noticed that there are two types of crucifixes: those described as “realistic” and those designated as “mystical”? Realistic crucifixes\u2014alas, the most numerous\u2014depict Christ stripped of his garments, his body ravaged by wounds, twisted in pain, and crowned with thorns; their primary aim is to move us, to awaken compassion. They seem to express the triumph of suffering. Fortunately, there are others that proclaim the victory of love: the so-called mystical crucifixes, found chiefly in Eastern traditions, showing Christ clad in a tunic, wearing an imperial crown, with eyes wide open and arms outstretched horizontally. Sometimes the face is impassive; often, it radiates a mysterious joy\u2014the joy of the One who said, “It is more blessed to give than to receive<\/i>” (Acts 20:35). How, indeed, could one doubt that Christ on the cross experienced, in the innermost depths of his being, an intense joy at the very moment when the source of infinite happiness for all mankind was gushing forth from his pierced heart? Yes, His body suffered horribly, yet His heart was filled\u2014overflowing\u2014with the joy of loving. Have you not, at some point, experienced this yourself: the coexistence of joy and suffering within you? Did not those among you who have given birth to children experience, all at once, the pain of the flesh and the joy of bringing forth life? We must therefore affirm that not only can suffering and joy coexist, but there is also a mysterious joy in suffering for the sake of love. Such was the joy of Christ on the cross.<\/p>\n
Believing in God\u2019s Compassionate Love<\/b><\/p>\n
I must now speak to you about how a Christian widow can respond to her terrible ordeal, in light of what I have just said regarding the Christian meaning of suffering.<\/p>\n
You know that your God is not an impassive God, but one who is infinitely compassionate\u2014the very One who was deeply moved by the suffering of bodies and hearts, who took pity on the crowds, and who repeated, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest<\/i>.” (Mt 11:28) How everything changes\u2014does it not?\u2014when God is no longer, in our minds, a Being who spies on us to catch us out, but rather One who sympathises\u2014who, dare I say, apologises for having allowed suffering to draw near to us. Bernanos expressed this poignantly. He speaks of a mother beside her dead little boy\u2014though his words apply just as well to a wife whose husband has just breathed his last. I quote from memory, “A mother hides her face one last time against the small chest that will beat no more. Suddenly, she straightens up. The divine Voice\u2014the Voice that cast suns into the vastness just as a hand scatters seeds\u2014has just whispered gently to her, ‘Forgive me. One day you will know, you will understand, you will be grateful to me. But now, what I ask of you is your forgiveness; forgive.<\/i>‘”<\/p>\n
Suffering: An Offering of Love<\/b><\/p>\n
If you allow yourself to be taught by Christ, He will invite you\u2014gently and patiently\u2014to move beyond even that stage of suffering accepted and endured under His compassionate gaze. He will propose an attitude more akin to the one He Himself held at the hour of the Passion. He will help you turn your suffering into an opportunity for greater love; I am speaking first, of course, of the cruel suffering of separation, but also of the myriad other sufferings that follow\u2014things I need not list, for you know them all too well. Yes, love can grow in your heart throughout the day; worries, sorrows, and difficulties can become occasions for an offering of love, a victory of your love for God.<\/p>\n
You might say to me, “It was easy enough to accept and bear suffering when there were two of us, but it seems so hard now that I am alone.<\/i>” You are right, “It is not good to be alone<\/i>“\u2014that is written on the very first page of the Bible. You are right, yet the truth is that you are not alone. Christ does not, of course, bring back the one who has left you, but He invites you to discover, ever more deeply, His mysterious presence by your side. It was a source of constant wonder to me, during my twenty-six years of ministry among widows, to witness the strength and joy that the love of Christ brings them.<\/p>\n
It is not that Christ\u2019s presence simply took the place of their husband\u2019s. Many would tell you that they first turned to Christ in search of their spouse, only to find\u2014gradually, or sometimes overnight\u2014that the Lord\u2019s love revealed itself as a great reality, the<\/i>\u00a0great reality. Christ became their friend. Yet, far from displacing their husband, He made their marital love stronger than death; and he who had been their companion on the journey became their companion for eternity.<\/p>\n
And indeed, the heart is now weaned from the comforts of human tenderness; it remains painful not to be able to take refuge in the arms of the man one loves; yet deep within dwells a pure joy, for in the depths of the heart lie two loves\u2014inseparable and intensely alive: the love of Christ and the love of one\u2019s husband.<\/p>\n
I have shown you, in turn, Christ as understanding and compassionate\u2014close to the widow who has just lost the one she loves, helping her bear her suffering. Then I showed Him quietly offering Himself as a friend and companion on the journey, inviting the widow to transform her suffering into a victory of love. His ambition\u2014or rather, His love\u2014desires even more.<\/p>\n
It is Christ who suffers within me<\/b><\/p>\n
Listen to Him speak to the one whose friend He has become, “I do not wish to be content with merely walking beside you; I want to live within you, suffer within you, and love within and through you. I wish to win the victory of My love over suffering once again\u2014but this time, within you and through you. There is such a massive rejection of love toward the Father in heaven; through you, I must offer Him even more, a superabundance of love. Will you allow Me to continue My great redemptive work within and through you? One day, you will be able to say in all truth, just as My apostle Paul did, ‘<\/i>It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me...’ (Gal 2:20); ‘I suffer, I love, yet it is no longer I who suffer or love, but Christ who loves and suffers within me.<\/i>”<\/p>\n
Listening to one\u2019s Husband<\/b><\/p>\n
May I ask each of you, at this very moment, to turn toward your husband who lives with God and to listen to him? “Great would be my joy and pride<\/i>,” he says to you, “if Christ could speak to me in these terms, ‘You awakened a woman\u2019s heart to love; you taught her to give of herself. See how, in her, love has triumphed over suffering; and she who once left father and mother to follow you now does not hesitate to answer my call when I, in turn, say to her, “<\/i>Come and follow me.” See how she cooperates in my mission as Saviour of the world, just as she once devoted herself to your mission as a man.<\/i>‘”<\/p>\n
Allow your husband to experience this joy and pride.<\/p>\n
Yet, the thought suddenly comes to me of those whose husbands were not practicing believers, and of those whose husbands took their own lives. Oh, I beg you, do not set limits on divine mercy. Dare to believe that your faith, your love, and your prayers\u2014those of the past as well as those of the present\u2014secured for him, when he appeared before the Lord, a welcome that was mercifully fatherly.<\/p>\n
No More Children<\/b><\/p>\n
Throughout this talk, I have repeatedly spoken of the suffering you endure as wives now left alone on earth. Yet I am well aware that another form of suffering weighs upon the hearts of many among you\u2014I am thinking especially of the younger women who had hoped to have more children: for them, the pain of loneliness is compounded by the pain of premature infertility. I also think of all those who have had no children at all.<\/p>\n
Let them look to Christ and listen to Him. He shows them His Mother at the foot of the Cross. She would bear no other child according to the flesh; yet, because her love consented so perfectly to the sacrifice, a new, spiritual motherhood was bestowed upon her\u2014one that expanded her heart to the dimensions of the world. And throughout the centuries, countless children would come to seek refuge in her maternal tenderness\u2014and never in vain.<\/p>\n
Christ offers a spiritual motherhood to all of you as well. It will bring new meaning, fruitfulness, and fulfillment to your lives as widows. Yet you must embrace this new mission with a willing heart.<\/p>\n
A Spiritual Motherhood<\/b><\/p>\n
It is inspiring to think that we can give life; but what are we to do? you might ask. It is not primarily\u2014or even mainly\u2014a matter of ‘doing,’ but of ‘being.’ If the love within you proves stronger than your suffering, a supernatural light will radiate from you. People will feel safe and secure in your presence. And you will see those who suffer\u2014and God knows how numerous they are!\u2014coming to you in search of counsel, courage, understanding, and fraternal friendship.<\/p>\n
That friendship\u2014even more than your words\u2014will help them understand that God is not the author of suffering, but a Father who grieves to see His children suffer. They will learn that they no longer need to fear God\u2014that fear which holds so many back from drawing near to Him because they dread suffering too much.<\/p>\n
Not only will you bring light and strength to those who suffer and help them grow in love, but you will also push back the dominion of suffering on earth. Would you like an example? I heard this from a couple who had invited a widowed friend to dinner. Later in the evening, the husband and wife let slip a few sharp words in her presence. A sort of wail escaped her, “Oh! No, not that..<\/i>.!” Years later, they still remembered the tone in which she had spoken those words\u2014words that meant, “I beg you, you who are blessed to be together, do not squander your love.<\/i>”<\/p>\n
I also think of what I would call a “collective motherhood” among widows. One would hope that, rising above their own suffering and the immediate circle of sorrows around them, widows might remind humanity of the countless forms of distress crying out for help across the globe. One would hope that all the widows of the earth, united, might raise a mighty cry in the face of war crimes and the threat of a colossal conflict, “Oh! No, not that…!<\/i>”<\/p>\n
Yet, even more powerful and effective than any proclamation addressed to the nations is the intercession of widows. Please understand that your ordeal is an invitation from God to a life of prayer. Oh, I know very well that in your overburdened lives it is difficult to find time for prayer\u2014though those who truly desire it do manage to find it; I have seen so many examples. But it is your entire life\u2014your family and professional duties, your worries and joys\u2014that must become prayer, offering, and intercession. What might widows not obtain for our threatened world, if they all fully embraced their vocation of prayer!<\/p>\n
During this pilgrimage, let your prayer be fervent. While you are here in Lourdes, Paul VI has just arrived at Fatima to implore God to grant peace to the world. Let your prayer join with his.<\/p>\n
One day, before a mother praying for her sick daughter, Christ exclaimed, “O woman, great is your faith!<\/i>” (Mt 15:28). May He marvel at the faith of the 4,500 widows\u2014you among them\u2014who have come on pilgrimage to Lourdes from ten countries, and may He exclaim, just as He did twenty centuries ago, “O women, great is your faith! Let it be done for you as you desire!<\/i>”<\/p>\n
Henri Caffarel, L\u2019Anneau d\u2019Or<\/i>, No. 137<\/cite>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" L’Anneau d’Or<\/i> magazine reproduced the text of a talk given by Father Henri Caffarel at Pentecost 1967, in Lourdes, before an audience of 4,500 widows. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[59],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-234954","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-widowhood"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.henri-caffarel.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/234954","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.henri-caffarel.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.henri-caffarel.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.henri-caffarel.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.henri-caffarel.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=234954"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.henri-caffarel.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/234954\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":234972,"href":"https:\/\/www.henri-caffarel.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/234954\/revisions\/234972"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.henri-caffarel.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=234954"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.henri-caffarel.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=234954"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.henri-caffarel.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=234954"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}